Liz Cheney Rewritten for Stand-up

The Liz Cheney version was for reading. This is for telling on stage, with a separate intro joke.

Any "Proud Parent of an Honor Student" people in here? Good. I find those bumper stickers really annoying. I mean *I* could have been an honor student in high school, too, if I never discovered drugs and masturbation.

You know Former VP Dick Cheney and his daughter Liz are making the rounds defending torture, right? When Liz was in school, Dick Cheney had a bumper sticker that said, "My child was a Student of the Draw and Quarter."

I still think it's possible that people won't get this -- they only know the past tense version, "drawn and quartered". Plus, they're used to the bumper sticker ending with the name of a school. I don't want to get into the whole "Lived in McLean, Virginia" exposition. We'll see. At least the intro stands on its own.