I'll be one of a dozen comics performing tomorrow night at Bunjo's Comedy Club in Dublin, Ca. (You can read about my impressions of the club below.)
I've been trying to decide whether to be intimidated. While I couldn't find a few on the web, I know nearly all of the comics have far more experience than I. My 5-minute set will be my 11th time (50th through 54th minute) on stage. Some of these folks have been around for YEARS.
Searching around the web, I found some have YouTube videos. Several have played at many, many clubs in the Bay Area. I've even played with a few at Tommy T's before.
The right decision, of course, is that I can never get good without experience. I have to be able to accept a little failure (or even a lot of it) as part of the process.
It isn't about stage fright -- I've got none of that. It's about flying in the face of all the perfectionist messages I got as a kid. There was a total LACK of "unconditional love" in my household. Every mistake exposed me to cruel ridicule.
There wasn't even the option to develop the strength to get through it. I was totally programmed to be fearful and weak. Never allowed to grow. Never allowed to dream.
No wonder I never wanted to have children. Knowing how badly I had been damaged as a child, I could never shoulder the responsibility to shape young minds.
There, there. It will be OK.
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