Bunjo's -- July 10, 2009 -- The set I planned

[I ended up leaving out HUGE chunks of this. I had difficulty with the graphics props]

Yes, it's an old, fat guy up here. I'm disappointed, too.

Look, Prop circles!

I wasn't any good at this "Where's Waldo?" game (you know how this works?) until Tuesday. I had this amazing Cataract surgery and NOW I can find Waldo.

It's no news this economy sucks. My wife & I are looking for jobs. Our 28th anniversary is 3 weeks from tomorrow & I can't afford to buy her a present. We're both getting treated for depression. If you wanna get us a gift, everything we need has a $5 co-pay at Rite-Aid.

When we were first married, I'd wake up every morning with a throbbing erection. Now I wake up with a flex-straw. You folks with straws know what to do with them, right? My wife knows, too, but she won't do it.

I got a little nasty window shopping at Kay Jewelers this week. When the salesman said, "Every kiss begins with k?" I said, "You know what else? Every piss begins with pee." Hauled away shouting.

Nobody knows what Sarah Palin's planning to do after she resigns as Governor of Alaska. It could be she'll run for the senate in 2010, or president in 2012, or my personal favorite, have another downs syndrome baby, tentatively named "Stump."

Did you know all John McCain really wanted was to try parasalin?

The only job she'll be able to get in 2012 is queen of the annual wisconsin cheese festival. By then everyone else will have declared her persona au gratin. latin puns never work.

But I'll keep trying. Now that Fiat took over Chrysler they'll be changing the name to Caveat. Damn.

3 weeks since the recall of cookie dough because of E. coli. As John Dunne would say, "Nestle, Ask not for whom the toll house cookie crumbles, it crumbles for thee." No English majors?

Only one more. Ashland Oregon has their annual Shakespeare festival all summer. Anybody ever gone? Me neither. Retired cartoon legend Yogi Bear and company are guest performing, with Yogi playing the title role in Julius Caesar. His last line is "Et tu, Boo Boo?"

So much for the literary shit.

Mark Sanford of South Carolina STILL hasn't resigned. He spent 5 days visiting his mistress in Argentina. His wife Jenny has reportedly already signed a book deal and I don't think she likes him very much any more. She hasn't written it yet, but she HAS chosen a title and cover art.

Here's a rare picture of the woman he was dating.... carmen sandiego.

So Who do you think was safer over the the 4th of July weekend: Joe Biden in Iraq or Mark Sanford with his family in Florida? I'm guessing Joe Biden.

Yes, 4th of July was last Saturday. Where are my dogs owners? Were your dogs upset by the fireworks? Mine were ... so we had to sedate them. It worked out real well ... we had Michael Jackson's veterinarian. Too soon? Sorry.

My wife won't play with my straw. so I've got a new sex partner. (show vacuum hose) Different from what I remember. I only used to have sex with WHITE hose.

Visit my web site rhetorich dot com. That's rhetoric with an h at the end dot com.

Thank you and good night.