Bunjo's - Sept 25, 2009 - Most of the actual set

Some of the things other comics before me mentioned:

Both Sean and DrB talked about candy bars.

Patrick talked about his mother being a heavy smoker.

DrB talked about walking his dog.

Mac made a Scooby Doo "Wuh?" sound talking about his reaction to a child's bad behavior in a store.

Fillmore talked about couples who've been married a long time not performing oral sex.

My routine went a little bit like the following. The order is probably not correct, and I abbreviated at the end bits you've heard before.

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Yes, I'm here to sell you insurance from the AARP. I *am* Rich Orwell, the youngest, most attractive comic here tonight. I had this really tight set prepared, but I've got ADD, so I'm gonna toss it out and just talk about what the other guys said. I think I know where the ADD came from. Patrick talked about his mother being a heavy smoker. My mother smoked 3 packs a day of unfiltered Camels every day from the age of 18, including when she was pregnant with me. I was swimming in amniotic fluid that was basically a toxic waste dump. I spun around so much trying to get out that I wrapped my umbilical cord 4 1/2 times around my neck. I couldn't be delivered, so the doctor had to reach in with forceps and grab my head and untwist me 4 1/2 times. Afterwards, he said to my mother, "Well, Meredith, how did you like getting UN-screwed?" Sean and DrBrian were both talking about candy bars. I'm also bipolar. Being bipolar is like buying a candy bar. Sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you just wanna fucking kill yourself. Mac made that "Huh?" sound and it reminded me of the bumper sticker I saw today, "What would Scooby do?" I live in Castro Valley. Does anybody know where that is? About 5 miles west of here. There are only 2 main streets, Castro Valley Blvd and Redwood Road. DrBrian was talking about walking his dog. Dog owners, does this ever happen to you? Somebody comes up to your dog and instead of asking you his name, they ask the dog, "What's your name, boy?" And then the dog looks at you, like "What does he think I'm gonna do, answer?" I'd like to have a dog named Rumford, so when that happens my dog can SAY [bark] "Rumford." And then I say to him "And tell him where we live." And the dog can say, [bark] "Reh-roo Roa." SOME material about McCain's Grand for Grandma, including Acme Slingshot Company. ====== Other, practiced material >>> Jews don't eat pig bit. She got Creamated. Can't dance on an urn. Blowin' in the wind. Didn't have to turn her head. Could have swallowed. Which brings me to what Fillmore said about couples after being married a long time not performing oral sex. Like Bill, etc. Intro Hoover, plus 2 new bits, "I prefer a lubricated rubber." and "Ribbed for her pleasure." White Hose. I *am* a dirty old man. I've been Rich Orwell.