Twas the Day After Thanksgiving

I wrote this after the deaths at a Toys 'R' Us store in Riverside County, California, on Black Friday in 2009. Two women got into a fight, then their husbands went to their cars, brought back pistols, and shot each other dead.

Toys 'R' Us Xmas

'Twas the day after Thanksgiving
when all thru the store
not a creature was stirring
the cops held the door

the bodies were stacked by the entrance with care
in hopes that the coroner
soon would be there

the bargains were won
by the hares, not the tortoises
and clutched in their hands
for all time -- rigor mortises

The autos were nestled, all parked in their lots,
The ammo was loaded, when out rang the shots;
Mom in her Kevlar, I in my red shirt,
Learned two shoppers were down -- hoped no reindeer were hurt.

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Blitzen!
I wet myself thoroughly, my pants full of shitzen
"To the end of the aisle! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! get away from the mall!"

Gurneys to hearses, and the cops blew their whistles,
And away they all flew, tagging toes, ducking missiles.
But I heard them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight,
"Half off, aisle 4, and to all a good-night."