I *may* get around to posting the audio from my set when I get it. I forgot to bring my #$%^ing camera to shoot a video of it.
Unusually good audience interaction. It felt like my delivery was less rushed and my timing was better. When individual bits didn't work, my ad libs with the crowd did. A stronger stage presence. More focus *outward* than on the exact words I'd rehearsed. More comfortable and natural.
I know, I know. It wasn't *that* good. But it felt far better than other recent sets.
I started with much longer set notes, but crossed out all but the material I really *wanted* to use. Below are the notes I ended up using.
limp - surgeries -
dances w/ wolves
that was the name given to him by the Sioux Indians
my name is Richard, but wife calls me by Indian name
walks with a limp dick
dick doc
mary travers of peter paul & mary died wednesday of complications of chemo for leukemia
she was 72
enormously popular folk singers back when jfk & mlk were assassinated
and during the protests against the war in viet nam.
clinton blowin in the wind
bush after obama inaug. it is reported sang leavin on a jet plane
were you like me, watching ?
I thought, after 8 years of national constipation, at last the shit is gone
speaking of jet planes
the h1n1 epidemic has scared rush limbaugh so much that he fled the country
and is broadcasting from an undisclosed location. I wonder
rush limbaugh Michael Jackson during bush & obama admins
puff the magic dragon
didn't inhale, btw, good advice for those of you who want to take up glass blowing
cash for clunkers
grand for grandma
most medical money last 6 months
john mccain
grand canyon arizona
over a mile deep
death slingshot
family & friends pull back on rubber band
side-by-side dual slingshot
extra money for TV rights
hitting target 3600 feet below
america's wile e coyote exit strategy
Hoover (she's NOISY)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Lazy lately
I've been performing a lot during this month of September, but not posting to this site. Sorry.
Other than being busy with other things, I've had a mind-technology meltdown. I forget to bring my camera or the batteries for it. Or the batteries die in the middle of my set. Or something else that means I would have to type the whole thing. I'm just not that energetic.
I have a few audio-only recordings in mp3 format. Maybe I'll figure out a way to post those.
Other than being busy with other things, I've had a mind-technology meltdown. I forget to bring my camera or the batteries for it. Or the batteries die in the middle of my set. Or something else that means I would have to type the whole thing. I'm just not that energetic.
I have a few audio-only recordings in mp3 format. Maybe I'll figure out a way to post those.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Wharf Room Comedy - September 1, 2009 - The Set I Planned
I had this well-written, nicely rehearsed 5 minute set ready. And then learned I would have *6* minutes, so added material I'd used before but *not* rehearsed for this show. I ended up changing it a bit, but did it mostly the way I had planned. I *may* get a video of the whole set and post more than what I did already below. Here is what I wrote.
How many of you are thinking, "That is the BEST super-hero disguise ever"? He must have *amazing* super-powers.
I AM Rich Orwell. The youngest, most attractive performer you will see tonight. I keep having surgeries on this foot. Four surgeries. 3 Doctors. I'm putting their kids through college. I've been taking Vicodin and Morphine for the pain. Available after the show.
By applause, do you think it's OK to start doing stand-up at age 59? That's good. I thought for a second there I'd have to limp off the stage.
In all that time, there's one thing I learned. The real difference between men and women. Men are simple and obvious. Ladies, would you agree? Women are complex and mysterious. Am I right? I think it has to do with our genitalia. Men have exposed penises. Women have hidden agendas. If "agenda" doesn't sound like a sex organ, you need to get your head in the gutter.
Do you remember that Kevin Costner movie where the Indians named him "Dances With Wolves"? My name is Richard, but my wife likes to call me, "Walks with a limp ... dick."
[Inserted Dick-Doc bit here. See it in the video below]
I'm bipolar. Inherited it from my dad. They used to call it manic-depressive. Big mood swings. Being bipolar is like buying a candy bar. Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you just wanna f-ckin' kill yourself.
Seriously, I was an *actual* hippie in the Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco, 17 years old during the Summer of Love, 1967. I'll be available after the show if you wanna have your picture taken with me. All that's different is: no shoulder-length hair, 100 pounds heavier and I don't smoke half my body weight in marijuana any more.
It's really good to be here in San Francisco again. My wife and I are natives, but we moved across the bay 20 years ago. We lived 8 blocks from here on Russian Hill. Have you visitors from out of town driven down Lombard Street? "The Crookedest Street in the World"? We lived a block away. It sounds close, but if you wanna walk there after the show, remember those are blocks "as the crow flies", but steep enough that even the crows take a cable car.
Here's a safety tip from a native. In the unlikely event of an earthquake, remember, don't overreact. Run to the nearest window, point outside, and yell "Godzilla!" That totally relieves the tension in the room, unless people around you believe it. Like Japanese tourists.
My wife is in the audience tonight. We've been married 28 years. She married me for my sense of humor, but stayed married for the Pope. Apparently, Catholics take that "no divorce" shit *seriously*.
I'm not Catholic. I come from a mixed marriage. My mother was a big, fat, ugly Baptist woman who married a skinny, little Jewish guy from New York. They divorced when I was 12, and she sat me down one day and told me, "In 19 years of marriage to your father, I never had an orgasm." Tell me. Is that "too much information" for a 12-year old? So I looked at her and said, "Of course not. Jews don't eat pig." Mom and I were never very close after that.
In closing, not only is my wife here, but I brought my girlfriend, too. After 28 years of marriage there are some things my wife doesn't like to do for me anymore. I think you can guess one of them when you meet my girlfriend. Her name is Hoover. Hi, honey. What do *you* like to do? I know how to turn her on. It's like a switch. She is *so* different from the women I went out with before. I only used to date white hose. You've been a great audience. I'm Rich Orwell.
How many of you are thinking, "That is the BEST super-hero disguise ever"? He must have *amazing* super-powers.
I AM Rich Orwell. The youngest, most attractive performer you will see tonight. I keep having surgeries on this foot. Four surgeries. 3 Doctors. I'm putting their kids through college. I've been taking Vicodin and Morphine for the pain. Available after the show.
By applause, do you think it's OK to start doing stand-up at age 59? That's good. I thought for a second there I'd have to limp off the stage.
In all that time, there's one thing I learned. The real difference between men and women. Men are simple and obvious. Ladies, would you agree? Women are complex and mysterious. Am I right? I think it has to do with our genitalia. Men have exposed penises. Women have hidden agendas. If "agenda" doesn't sound like a sex organ, you need to get your head in the gutter.
Do you remember that Kevin Costner movie where the Indians named him "Dances With Wolves"? My name is Richard, but my wife likes to call me, "Walks with a limp ... dick."
[Inserted Dick-Doc bit here. See it in the video below]
I'm bipolar. Inherited it from my dad. They used to call it manic-depressive. Big mood swings. Being bipolar is like buying a candy bar. Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you just wanna f-ckin' kill yourself.
Seriously, I was an *actual* hippie in the Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco, 17 years old during the Summer of Love, 1967. I'll be available after the show if you wanna have your picture taken with me. All that's different is: no shoulder-length hair, 100 pounds heavier and I don't smoke half my body weight in marijuana any more.
It's really good to be here in San Francisco again. My wife and I are natives, but we moved across the bay 20 years ago. We lived 8 blocks from here on Russian Hill. Have you visitors from out of town driven down Lombard Street? "The Crookedest Street in the World"? We lived a block away. It sounds close, but if you wanna walk there after the show, remember those are blocks "as the crow flies", but steep enough that even the crows take a cable car.
Here's a safety tip from a native. In the unlikely event of an earthquake, remember, don't overreact. Run to the nearest window, point outside, and yell "Godzilla!" That totally relieves the tension in the room, unless people around you believe it. Like Japanese tourists.
My wife is in the audience tonight. We've been married 28 years. She married me for my sense of humor, but stayed married for the Pope. Apparently, Catholics take that "no divorce" shit *seriously*.
I'm not Catholic. I come from a mixed marriage. My mother was a big, fat, ugly Baptist woman who married a skinny, little Jewish guy from New York. They divorced when I was 12, and she sat me down one day and told me, "In 19 years of marriage to your father, I never had an orgasm." Tell me. Is that "too much information" for a 12-year old? So I looked at her and said, "Of course not. Jews don't eat pig." Mom and I were never very close after that.
In closing, not only is my wife here, but I brought my girlfriend, too. After 28 years of marriage there are some things my wife doesn't like to do for me anymore. I think you can guess one of them when you meet my girlfriend. Her name is Hoover. Hi, honey. What do *you* like to do? I know how to turn her on. It's like a switch. She is *so* different from the women I went out with before. I only used to date white hose. You've been a great audience. I'm Rich Orwell.
Hidden Agendas, slightly improved telling
I've told my "Women have hidden agendas" bit a few times and like *parts* of how I've told it each time. Last night was a bit rushed (a rushed bit?), but I think this will become a staple in my sets.
Wharf Room Comedy at Castagnola's. Sept 1, 2009
Wharf Room Comedy at Castagnola's. Sept 1, 2009
Even the Crows Take the Cable Car
Last night was my first time playing a club in San Francisco. Located in the Fisherman's Wharf area, it was 6 blocks from where Maryann & I lived for many years.
I wrote this joke for the occasion, but delivered it hastily. The NEXT time I do it, it will be awesome.
Wharf Room Comedy at Castagnola's. Sept 1, 2009.
I wrote this joke for the occasion, but delivered it hastily. The NEXT time I do it, it will be awesome.
Wharf Room Comedy at Castagnola's. Sept 1, 2009.
She calls me, "Walks with a limp ... dick"
I'm not the Adonis I used to be. After 4 surgeries on my left foot, I walk with a limp (or a cane). My "erectile dysfunction" issues seem typical for a man my age, so I put the 2 together in this bit. This was new material, delivered hastily, but I think you con see it has a future.
Wharf Room Comedy at Castagnola's in San Francisco, September 1, 2009.
Wharf Room Comedy at Castagnola's in San Francisco, September 1, 2009.
Wharf Room Comedy - September 1, 2009 - "Learnings and Take-Aways"
I say "Learnings and Take-Aways" because I have a vague sense that those are (somewhat) new buzz-words for the results of a business meeting. I didn't spend much time as a career clone in the corporate world
I went up as 2nd comic following the MC/host, DrBrian, & wasted a minute riffing on the first guy. This A.D.H.D. thing may work when I have time to plan changes, but not when flying by the seat of my massive pants.
Last night I heard at the last minute that I'd have *6* minutes after crafting a tight 5. Added 1 minute of other, unrehearsed, material. Got up there & pissed away a minute on first guy's dreck (although the riffs were material I'd used before & it all worked), then was so worried about not having enough time to do the set I'd written that I rushed through it, NOT allowing time for laughs to build, and lost concentration -- had to refer to notes all the time.
Pretty-much all the (excellently-written) material worked, and the (small) audience liked it, but I didn't give them a chance to REALLY like it because I talked too fast and too much. I didn't totally stink up the place, and the video looks better than I felt while doing it, but I'm pissed at myself. Maybe when I perform in the future I'll just wear headphones to drown out the earlier acts.
I'll post a few videos later.
I went up as 2nd comic following the MC/host, DrBrian, & wasted a minute riffing on the first guy. This A.D.H.D. thing may work when I have time to plan changes, but not when flying by the seat of my massive pants.
Last night I heard at the last minute that I'd have *6* minutes after crafting a tight 5. Added 1 minute of other, unrehearsed, material. Got up there & pissed away a minute on first guy's dreck (although the riffs were material I'd used before & it all worked), then was so worried about not having enough time to do the set I'd written that I rushed through it, NOT allowing time for laughs to build, and lost concentration -- had to refer to notes all the time.
Pretty-much all the (excellently-written) material worked, and the (small) audience liked it, but I didn't give them a chance to REALLY like it because I talked too fast and too much. I didn't totally stink up the place, and the video looks better than I felt while doing it, but I'm pissed at myself. Maybe when I perform in the future I'll just wear headphones to drown out the earlier acts.
I'll post a few videos later.
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